so today i woke up at 5; suns not even up yet, but i am. i couldn't help but be excited that today was blast from the past ( a day where we get dressed up as someone from the past).
i was a greek goddess. i named my goddess jasper, the goddess of silliness and joy.
sometimes that's all i feel i am. silly.
and i don't think theres anything wrong with that.
how is it so bad if i don't get upset over the littlest things? how is it so bad if i giggle at the word bran? am i not allowed to have frivolous moments with myself every few minutes? as depressed as we all are, jasper is needed. she needs to fy around, sprinkling her fucking fairy dust everywhere, on everybody.
so whats so bad with wanting to see a smile on peoples face?
-
Lacking seriousness or responsibleness; frivolous: indulged in silly word play; silly pet names for each other.
-
Semiconscious; dazed: knocked silly by the impact.
really?
if that may be, this is nothing but good news on my terms. and those who give such a definition are so condescendingly close-minded that they can't even laugh at a puppet without immediately realizing that it's fake. it's a fucking hand moving a sock around - just fucking go with it!
so you tell me -is it my virtue or my vice?
w.e.
life's a crazy fucked up test.
as far as im concerned, i'm following my gut seeing as that i didn't study.
I've always believed in living in the moment.
Why waste your time worrying about what already happened? What happened happened, we can't go back in time (even though many times we wish we could) and change it. It's history
And as for what will happen, well thats for the future. I say we let it be the puzzle it was intended to be. I think we're so worried about whats coming to even enjoy whats happening right now. We assume that we feel content on knowing whats going to happen, but have we ever considered that when we know the future, we try to perfect the coming and by doing that, we screw up the present. The precious time that we have on our hands right at that moment.
I've added a new group.
It's for people who dare to be different and admire themselves.
It's for people who are afraid to be different and need support to be themselves.
Join because only then can we feel that being ourselves doesn't mean having to follow others.
your thoughts are being haunted by the thought of change.
and you're afraid that the change will be devastating. that maybe it'll crush everything that you've worked so hard to get to. or worse, maybe it'll change you.
but could it ever be that the change is good?
that the disorientation that you're feeling is merely in your head and that there might be a smile hidden in that face?
your knees shake as you take each mindblowing step.
so you can only imagaine how frightened my body is. what do you do when you can't even get a hold of yourself?
sometimes I wonder if life is just passing us by and we're too slow to grab it
because i can recall the days i would lounge around in my diaper, drinking from a sippycup
now its like, im hanging at foliage with my besfriend drinking a cappuchino
and you begin to think where did all those years go?
soon you'll be 30, climbing the social ladder to get to the highest position
.
soon to be in college, i'll have to fend for myself. no mother to do the dishes or laundry. no father to kiss ass for money.
we're getting so old and rawr, its just getting sad.
Have you ever been so tired you just want to stop?
And not stop, like drop that incredible book you had been reading for the past three hours and go take a nap, only to be dreaming of the outcome,
but to just really stop.
sit still.
your thoughts cease to flow
and your free?
emo as it sounds, its happening to me
but sweet slumber wont take over me just yet, much to my dismay.

on life like a racetrack